Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Here we are at the end of the year. I don’t tend to make resolutions, per se, but I do like to reflect on the past year and set intentions for the new one. In particular, I ponder questions of meaning and satisfaction.
What has been meaningful and satisfying to me this year? What’s my vision for next year? Where have I felt stuck? How would I like to focus my attention and energy going forward?
It is easy for me (for most of us) to live with one foot in the future. This is one area I have noticed feeling stuck and dissatisfied lately. I longingly look to the future, hoping that I will feel more settled, content, and secure tomorrow (or next year). Alternatively, I observe myself worrying about how the next day, week or month will go. Will everything be okay? Will I make it through whatever current/perceived challenge I am facing?
Similarly, I can get caught thinking about the past. I daydream about some time that felt simpler or easier, at least in hindsight. I wistfully wish some experience, relationship or job had lasted longer than it did. I may worry that I made a wrong choice along the way and wonder what could have happened differently.
The difficulty with these thought patterns is that they keep us out of the here and now. They pull us away from whatever is happening in the present moment. Coming back to my questions from the beginning, I have experienced time and time again that meaning and satisfaction come from being in the present moment, not from thinking about the past or dreaming/worrying about the future.
“The Time Between Times”
This brings me to my intention for the new year and a word I learned from reading Joan Chittister’s book, Wisdom Distilled from the Daily: Living the Rule of St. Benedict Today. Chittister is a member of the Benedictine Sisters of Erie, PA and founder of Monasteries of the Heart, an online movement and community bringing Benedictine spirituality to modern day seekers. In her book, she uses the term “statio” and describes it as “the practice of stopping one thing before we begin another; the time between times; and the desire to do consciously what [one] might otherwise do mechanically” (1996).
This speaks to me deeply. What a simple yet profound way to slow myself down and be more present throughout the day, by stopping in between things.
As we prepare to welcome 2020, I want to include this practice in my daily life. I can pause in between each activity or task. Noticing my breath; noticing the soles of my feet. Noticing the urge to move on quickly to the next thing or pick up my phone in some distracted, half-conscious manner. As I notice my habitual way of not-pausing, I can gently remind myself to stop. Breathe. Be still for a few moments before moving on.
I want to be present in my life. I want to be conscious of my actions and not just go through the motions, acting “mechanically,” as Chittister says. I don’t want to miss my life while it is happening. I don’t want to look back at the end of the year and wonder how I spent each day, remembering only a blur with no defined moments.
Pittsfield State Forest, MA
The moments that I do pause stand out vividly in my memory. Oftentimes these happen outdoors. Sitting at the edge of a lake, reading a book or wading into the water with a friend. The time I went snow shoeing and stumbled back into the snow while brushing off the branches of a hemlock. Standing at Niagara Falls. Riding bikes down a dirt road.
Perhaps part of my practice this year will be to step outside when I pause, to notice the sights and sounds around me, the temperature and moisture of the air as I breathe. These things help me feel more present. When I notice thoughts about the future and past, I can gently remind myself to breathe and be here, now.
Our lives are not meant to be lived as if some final destination out there and further along is the goal. Our lives happen in the here and now, in our daily routines and personal interactions. It matters what we pay attention to and whether we are present to ourselves and each other as each moment unfolds. Not from a place of right or wrong, should or shouldn’t, but because meaning and satisfaction happen in the present moment.
Our culture is one of busy-ness, productivity and being on the go. It can be an act of resistance to slow down. An act of self-care. A form of activism. What keeps us all moving so fast? What are we afraid would happen if we paused? How do we come back into balance and cultivate habits of pausing, slowing down and being present?
This year I will be practicing statio, pausing in between things, stepping outside to breathe and be. What about you? What are your intentions for the new year? How will you honor this life that is yours?
Source: Chittester, Joan. (1996) Wisdom Distilled from the Daily: Living the Rule of St. Benedict Today. New York, NY: Harper Collins Publishers.
Katherine Grigg, MPC, RSMT, offers a holistic approach to healing with roots in somatics, body psychotherapy, spirituality and mindful movement. She sees clients in Lenox, Massachusetts and over phone/video chat. Specializing in working with women and members of the LGBTQ+ community. Contact her for more information.