In May, I attended a meditation retreat at Barre Center for Buddhist Studies. This retreat was led by Dr. Larry Ward, Peggy Rowe-Ward and Diane Little Eagle and included a focus on metta meditation, also known as loving-kindness meditation. You may be familiar with these words:

May I be safe
May I be physically well
May I be at ease and at peace
May I be happy

For four days, we came together and sat on our cushions, most of the time in silence. We did walking meditation, sang and moved together, and practiced meeting ourselves and each other with loving-kindness and compassion.

When I arrived at Barre, I was aware of a sense of stillness permeating the space. We were surrounded by trees and quiet - and fearless chipmunks. I was also aware of fear, anxiety and agitation within my body and mind. As I slowed down, I could feel them intensely. They were with me on some level for most of the retreat.

Many of us, perhaps most of us, know the experience of an unsettled nervous system. We know the experience of feeling anxious or being in some level of fight, flight or freeze, deadening or collapse. We know what it is like to feel scared, uncertain, worried, agitated, or irritable. And many of us never learned how to settle our nervous system. We were not taught how hold our fear with care and meet ourselves with love.

Metta meditation can influence the way we feel on a body-level. These are not just words we say to ourselves. The practice is to connect to each feeling: of safety, well-being, ease, peace, and happiness. For example, you might start with a memory of being in a place where you have felt safe. It doesn’t have to be a perfect memory of absolute safety - it can be a memory of relative safety, or safe enough, as one of my fellow retreatants said. Some place in nature, like a meadow, a beach, or a forest. Or within a community, a building, or a room. Being with a loved one, a pet or a teacher. If no memory comes to mind, you can use the power of your imagination to envision a place where you would feel safe.

Then, as you say the words to yourself, “May I be safe,” invite in a feeling/memory of safety. Let the feeling deepen in your awareness as you repeat the words. Try it, if you like. What do you notice? See if you can stay with this for a few breaths, a few repetitions of “May I be safe.” What happens in your body? In your energy field? Your nervous system? Your mind?

Can you connect to a sense of physical well-being? A sense of ease or peace? A feeling of happiness, contentment or satisfaction? There is full permission to play with the words and find the ones that resonate with you. To quote Larry, “Make it alive. If it’s not alive, it’s not your practice.”

The next step is to extend loving-kindness out to others. You can think of a loved one and say to yourself, “May you be safe,” as you sink into the feeling of sending them safety. You can add acquaintances and people who feel neutral to you. A more advanced practice is to add those with whom you have a challenging relationship.

My practice lately has been to bring loving-kindness to myself and then to offer it broadly to the world, or, specifically, to those who are suffering in the world. With an embodied presence, I say these words:

May we all be safe. May there be safety within us, among us and between us
May we all be physically well. May there be physical well-being within us, among us and between us
May we all have ease. May there be ease within us, among us and between us
May we all be at peace. May there be peace within us, among us and between us
May we all be happy. May there be happiness within us, among us and between us*

At one of the monthly online talks that Larry and Peggy offer, Peggy recently acknowledged that we do this practice even as we know people are not safe. Even as we witness violence and conflict happening in the world, we send out this love, these words and energies of loving-kindness. In this way, as we meditate for our own well-being, we also meditate for the well-being of the world.

By the end of the retreat, my body and mind had settled enough that the stillness I felt in the space when I first arrived was now also within me. I keep returning to this practice because, even on my own for 20 minutes at a time, I notice a difference. As I connect to feelings of safety, loving-kindness and ease, my heart and body soften. My nervous system settles. My mind feels clearer and calmer. I’m more able to respond with grace and compassion to myself, my loved ones and the world around me.

May we all have peace and ease.

*These words are how I remember Peggy teaching them to us. For more on Peggy Rowe-Ward and Dr. Larry Ward and their offerings, visit The Lotus Institute.

Katherine Grigg, MPC, RSMT, offers a holistic approach to healing with roots in somatics, body psychotherapy, spirituality and mindful movement. Her practice is in Montague, MA, where she sees clients in-person and virtually. Specializing in working with women, members of the LGBTQIA+ community, adolescents and spiritual seekers. Contact her for more information.

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